Monday, September 30, 2013

Rich idiots

It may be a good thing that I haven't churned out a successful comedy career yet. I want to be successful. I want to carve out a good life for my children with the sweat of my brow and the strength of my back. I want to do what is necessary to insure that my kids have a better life than the ones my parents gave me, which was no doubt better than the one they had. My parents worked their ass off to make me and my brother happy, and I want the same for my children. The only problem with that is what I’ve learned over the last couple of weeks; rich kids are stupid!!
Now over the last couple of years we’ve seen the occasional rich quasi-whore pop up, like Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian. Clearly being rich and hot means you can slut it up and say stupid shit and people will still buy your perfume. Lately the amount of privilege stupidity has skyrocketed, though. Just take a look at Jaden Smith's retarded tweets. And I mean "retard" in the way that would piss Sarah Palin off. Will Smith went from the bottom to the top. He busted his ass with DJ Jazzy Jeff and turned himself into a multi-millionaire producer, rapper, and actor. He's put in a lot of hard work, so the occasional WTF?comment from him would be understandable. I mean, all that hard work and stress to make something of yourself could play on the brain from time to time. You could have a slip every now and again. Tom Cruise is still making movies after his crazy outbreaksJaden on the other hand, has no excuse. He's had itgood from the get-go. Sure his parents took him out of an incredibly expensive private school to home school him, it still doesn't give him an excuse to lose it on twitter. If babies could talk they would be the most intelligent beings? What does that mean? Gandhi was smart and he didn't shit his pants. And he could have, he was still wearing a diaper.
Or what about Paul Attanasio's entitled bratty kid. The video of him claiming to be behind the wheel of a $1 Million dollarCamaro is hilarious. He chastises someone for being poorer than him, and brags about only being 15 while driving, when clearly he's never worked a day in his life. His father's money gives him a right to be an asshole?
Life’s supposed to be easier when you’re rich. If you're poor, and you don't know something, or spout off stupid shit, you at least have a small excuse. You didn't have a great education laid out in front of you. You can overcome your parent's socio-economic status and make get a good education, but it's going to take some work. Rich kids have no excuse though. I know that in order to be incredibly successful you have to make sacrifices.One of those is working long hours and not being there for your family. But at what point should you step back and place more attention on them. Just because your parents are busy making millions doesn't mean you should act like an asshole. Evidentlyall us poor people are using that time not working to raise our kids properly. Here's an idea, how about you move from a $1.5 Million dollar home to a $1.2 Million dollar home, and use that extra time teaching your son not to be a prick.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Miss Ameri-what?

We are breeding an entirely new group of racist idiots in this country.  Last night we had the lovely Miss America patent, the dream of every little white girl in America. The funny thing was, a little white girl didn't win it. An Indian-American girl named Nina Davuluri won it. Now, she was born in Syracuse, but she might as well have been born in Afghanistan. Racist comments about Miss America being a terrorist were all over Twitter last night, even though India has nothing to do with our war on terror. People claimed it was outrageous that an Arab won, though India is not in the Middle East. There lies the problem. 
Look white people, if you're going to be racist, at least be smart about it. She's Indian, not an Arab. You could have gone with sand nigger, camel jockey, Abu, Kumar, any of those. Arab and terrorist are not even close, even by idiot redneck standards.  And just because she's dark doesn't mean she's a terrorist. I know Mexicans that are darker than her, but I bet you're not scared of them blowing up your shrubs or planting a bomb in your baby carriage while they walk your kids. Not all brown people are terrorist.  
It's insulting to brown people when you don't know where their country is and what stereotypes they are affiliated with. White people get pissed if we don't know what side of the Mason-Dixon Line their state is on, but you can't figure out an entire country? 
If you haven't figured out by now, with the election of a Black President, that your white washer reign is over, you need to get a clue. We're definitely a melting pot now. Ms. Davuluri is the epitome of Ms. America.  The fact that she would participate in a competition that objectifies women and reinforces the self-esteem crushing stereotypes American teenagers kill themselves for everyday, only to help bolster our consumer driven economy should prove that she's more American than 90% of the people pissed that she won. There will be more American born Indian girls buying trendy clothes and starving themselves while listening to Lady Gaga more than ever now, which is job security since half you racist f#%ks work the checkout line at Wal-Mart anyways.  
The only thing worse than a racist is a dumb racist. I'm okay with you calling me a wetback if you can at least take a geography class, and maybe learn about evolution. Baby steps, people! Baby steps. P